Today I get my airconditioner from amazon prime delivered, allegedly. It's june, it's humid and my window fan isn't cutting it. Nothing much changes in Jeff land yet the world is going insane at the moment. Alas politics is not the topic of this blog post.
The topic is... daily life.
It's saturday morning and I am doing bug triage on github as if it was a weekday. The work week has been going for the past 2 years or so as I am a workaholic and use work as an escape from my real life problems. I am still a shitty person in person and online. I don't think I ever grew up. Sometimes I wonder what I am doing, maybe this is an early mid life crisis. One thing for sure is that I need a non computer related hobby (yea, but like, can your non computer related hobby run crysis?). I think I became my father, thank god I don't have kids I'd be a shit dad. I am not deeply unhappy, I feel relatively successful but I feel like something is missing. I feel like nothing has changed in my life for the better, excluding work of course.
On the brighter side...
I feel like I am (probably) making a difference in the world with my work. I am able to get stuff done for the most part. I am hopeful for the loki project and its future and it looks like a bright future is ahead. I was shown that my cynicism about the coin incentives to be wrong so far. I am glad that I was wrong about that. So far there are over 1K service nodes running lokinet relays. This is great and I am excited to see where this goes. Every time someone askes me
"hey, are you the lokinet guy?" and I reply with something similar to,
"I mean, yea... I guess." I feel like I am doing something that matters. Stuff like that makes me forget most of the internal strife I have for a short period of time.
Maybe this is what it means to be a relatively successful person. It's a continual improvment, gradual build up built atop years of toil.